Ido Amin's
presents
the Unofficial Net'n'Yahootm Home Page
"significantly less serious in tone, but no less biting" - ALLISON KAPLAN SOMMER
please mail comments to the site administrator
NEW: LIVE CHAT WITH THE BOSS!
Benjamin Net'N'Yahoo "pleased to have a computerized fireside chat"
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Net'N'Yahoo was available for what he refers to as "a computerized fireside chat" on the online MSNBC site (http://www.msnbc.com) on sunday, December 15.
Kids with Computers For Every KidTM that missed it can access the computerized chat transcript on http://www.msnbc.com/news/47065.asp.
DOS '96
USERS GET FREE DOOM GAME! Click pic for full screen preview |
NEW COMMUNICATION PROTOCOL The new communication protocol is more efficient, since the "bounced" or "lost packets" can be easily tracked down and reused.
On the left is a photo of some such packets that did not reach their destination, or "bounced" from it.
Messages are represented in the new packets in an algorithm requiring
minimal training and a v-fast learning curve: the default message stream is maintained by shooting/stoning everything that
moves, while intelligent messages are symbolised by slowing down a bit.
The new protocol is related to the new product "Kahwa", a developers environment unifying all languages into a single language with a single word, making it easier for everybody to convey a message, for example "I hate your guts".
NOT SO NEW :
HANDSHAKE PROTOCOL
SOLVES DOS '96 tm PUSH BUG
The new protocol solves the bug that appeared last year in the OS/LO operating system of the Secure Peace Server.
Nicknamed "the Pull and Drag bug", it caused OS/LO handshakes to appear on CNN as a "server PULL" event,
even when they were supposed to appear as "server PUSH". A team headed by CEO Netanyahoo arrived to a solution in only 8 weeks by resolutely requiring system handshakes to be photographed only from pre allocated positions (see photo).
Implementing the new protocols on any system requires a minimal number of manlives and system downtime is only 8 weeks. Risks of a region-wide breakdown/flareup are really minimal. I think. Oh well. Every DOS '96 package comes with a free gas mask!
USES EVERYDAY RESOURCES
New communication protocol, secretly developed for years in an underground tunnel, was introduced this week by Net'N'Yahootm. The new protocol
makes costly & primitive communication packets containing "words"
redundant and replaces them with modern, widely accessible everyday household items such as bullets and stones.
Millions gasped as world networking leader Net'N'Yahootm uncovered the new generation of Handshake Protocols that are part of the DOS'96tm downgrade for OS/LO (see CNN photo).
THE OTHER 49.5% - Print this banner and stick it on your car!
MISSION STATEMENT
(grabbed from Usenet)
SILICON VALLEY - World Wide Web giants Yahoo and Netscape announced a surprise merger and relocation today. The new firm will move to Israel and call itself Net'n'Yahoo.
MANUALS
Personally Written By our Company President
Offered in association with amazon.com - largest book site on the Internet!
- Fighting Terrorism : How Democracies Can Defeat Domestic and International Terrorism; Binyamin Netanyahu, Benjamin Netanyahu; Hardcover; $15.30
- A unique edition commemorating the double name of our company president.
- International Terrorism : Challenge and Response; Benjamin Netanyahu; Paperback; $19.95 (Special Order)
- Another investigation into our CEO's favourite subject.
- My Life with Sarah "Haide" Net'N'Yahoo, by Her Ex; Paperback; price unknown (expected soon; oops, cancelled)
- "Sarah is the nations' highest command!" - A. Kahalani, Minister of Police.
JOB OPPORTUNITIES
(grabbed from Usenet)
Subject: Au-pair wanted for busy, prominent American-style couple in Jerusalem Date: Thu, 04 Jul 1996 09:24:49 +0200 Au-pair wanted for nice American-style busy couple in Jerusalem. Must work 16 hours a day, cooking, cleaning, taking care of children. Good cooks only need apply. Must be discreet. Security clearance a plus.
SUPPORT
Comments and complaints regarding Net'n'Yahootm products can be forwarded to the company's president, Mr. Net'N'Yahoo.
LINKS
Other unofficial sites dedicated to our CEO:
- BibiWATCH an independent web newsletter published in Israel
- Bibi is Bad Campaign
- The "This Could Have Been Funny" page
A partial list of sites that linked to us:
If you have a page of your own, you can link to this page. You are welcome to use our banner! If you're not sure how you can do that, simply insert this code into your HTML:
<A HREF="http://www.reshet.co.il/atar/netnyahu"><IMG SRC="http://www.reshet.co.il/atar/netnyahu/banner.gif" BORDER=0 WIDTH=455 HEIGHT=63></A>
ABOUT THIS PAGE
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This page is unofficial, tongue-in-cheek, fun oriented and please relax officer is maintained by Ido Amin with other people authoring various parts.
Other stuff that is a bit like this stuff is at official ATAR HASHAVU'A site.
Comments and ideas are welcome, contributions will be considered (please let me know if you want your name/e-mail mentioned).
